Justine:
hey, GAGA ew, no, em, your greatest achievement you've done to me is introducing the word 'gay' to me, cause that is the only right word to describe you. Stay or grow fat, fatter than me, then I shall consider doing more job for you. this is the only time that your slave would be writing something touching to you and if you ignore this as always when people tag you, then you won’t' know how much I enjoyed you and loved you this year. ok I should not be imagining what your face or expression would be like because if I do, then I won't be writing touching stuffs. I felt so, that you've influenced me, taught me to socialize, and be gay, and knowing that leading a gay life can be fun:) you influenced me to be funny, and trained me to give good comebacks. and gaga, for the first and perhaps only time, unless you really raise my pay next yr, I'm going to tell you sincerely that, you really rock, I am always entertained by you, your maturity showed me that sometimes things can be insignificant, by showing me how much you don't care about thing that has no meaning to you, and how much I don't have to pay attention at things that I don't have to bother. you are the only person that I could have oral fights with and the only person that has funny and cool comebacks, trust me, no one beats u. I love you, for the way you want yourself to different and the wind that you brought when you walked pass by me cause you are cool, I swear, and as always, I shall be your faithful slave :)
I ❤ you, Justine Ocampo
This really made my day :)
thank you slave
I think I WILL give you a raise :D
there's a really bad thuderstorm right now and thunder just flahsed. Must be the heavens telling me not to. So I guess I won't.
sorry
xxx
batman loves you too
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
129: 100 questions I'll be asked in a japanese gameshow
1. What is your name? (could be your full name or nickname)
Justine Dominique
2. When were you born?
May 01 '94
3. Where were you born?
Philippines
4. Where are you currently residing?
Singapore :>
5. How many languages do you speak?
English... I don't think you can consider the other languages I know as "Speaking"
6. Do you have any siblings?
Yes, I'm the middle child
7. Would you show us your childhood pics?
suure
8. How did you spend your childhood?
playing :]
9. Any childhood dreams?
I really like going on adventures
10. Did it come true?
Half way there :D
11. Most memorable childhood moment.
my memory is really bad, but I'm sure that if you remind me of any memorable moments I'm sure I'll say something like "WOAH! AWESOME!!" and then remember it from then on.
12. Current occupation.
student
13. Past jobs.
my parents would pay me if i did chores and I used to hand make stationary paper and sell them for 10 cents to my family (I really love money)
14. Dream job.
Artist/someone that works in the entertainment business. Anything fun and full of admirable people will be awesome. Something that I can comit to and be motivated with easily is the best i guess.
15. How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
hopefully trying to work hard
16. Do you have any pets?
as much as I'd love a wolf, it's completely impossible for me to be capable of taking care of one
17. Please show us the contents of your bag.
Cell phone, iTouch, wallet and whatever I need for that day. like notebook or DS for when I expect it to be boring or presents or things I need to return etc. etc. Sometimes camera and snacks for just in case situtations :D
18. Something you must always have with you at all times.
My watch (or anything that tells time.. which in this case since my watch broke.. my cell phone)
19. What or who is on the wallpaper of your cell phone?
none.. I dont think my phone is capable of doing that...
20. How do you define your style?
simple, replies to the occasion.
21. Favorite fashion brand.
the popular ones (since I dont really know any others and too lazy to look around... but I am open minded and if the time calls for it I do bother to look at any shop)
22. What’s your favorite cartoon? (could be an anime, if you want).
LOADS!!!
23. Favorite TV show.
In Japan : Cartoon KAT-TUN and AnS and HnA and VSA
24. What were you good at in school?
I'm not specially good at anything.. I'm only average at everything
25. Who can you do an impersonation of?
I'm not sure... I haven't really tried to do one before..
26. Something that you would call yourself.
You... ?
27. What do you collect?
Juxtapoz magazines and souveneirs from special occassions (movie tickets, seashells, notes etc.)
28. What is the most expensive thing that you have ever bought?
I have no idea... concert tickets? clothes, notebooks, books, presents..? (everythings expensive for me)
29. What was the best present you have ever received?
I really like the whole "its the thought that counts" so I love any present I receive
30. Do you play any musical instruments?
I think the world will benefit more if I did not...
31. What is your first impression of KAT-TUN? Boring compared to Arashi
32. When or how did you first learn of them?
through arashi and gokusen
33. How long have you been a fan of them? a few months after I became a fan of arashi
34. What do you think makes them different from the other JE groups?
they're style of music and type costumes ( its more dark and rock. ) Though they still have the JE's dance sequences
35. Being a KAT-TUN fan, what is the craziest thing you’ve done?
wasting too much time watching videos of them.
36. To what lengths can you show or prove that you’re a fan?
I'm not really into proving I'm their biggest fan thing.. those kind of things are completely shallow
37. Do you have anything in common with them?
I dunno...I might :)
38. Is there something that you like for them to change?
their dancing.
39. Do you think they lack something?
intimacy/closeness within the group
40. Let’s say they can sing any song in any language, what would you have them sing for you? their own song yorokobi no uta :D or they can cover an arashi song. that's the best (for me... I dunno about arashi..)
41. What other JE groups do you like?
this question is way to obvious. NEXT
42. Other music aside from JE?
Fall Out Boy!! :D or Aqua timez if from Japan...
43. Is there anything you want to say to Johnny?
Please give me a job :>
44. What’s your favorite KT costume?
:| I have no clue... I dont really remember any
45. What can you beat KAT-TUN in?
Speaking English! And drawing/painting
46. What do you want to do for them?
Help them out with their problems (if any)
47. What do you want to teach them?
How to make the square balloon origami
48. What do you want them to teach you? (What do you want to learn from them?)
How to do a backflip!!!!!
49. Something that you want to do together.
Go wakeboarding or go to a traditional Japanese festival and wear yukatas and eat all kinds of festival food!!
50. What is your special skill?
hmm.. I wonder if thats really a special skill.
51. What do you think separates you from other people?
I really have no idea... everyone's so different that they're the same ne?
52. Is there something that you want to try the most?
Parachuting, or riding in a hot air balloon, or travelling the world on a boat, being a ninja, going on all kinds of Japanese variaty shows, meet Johnny! DO A BACKFLIP
53. What have you been currently working hard on?
The video montage.
54. Something that has caught your attention recently.
Wakeboarding and boats
55. What do you like doing best?
watching videos/movies etc.
56. What is your best characteristic?
patient and can see from other perspectives (sometimes)
57. What is your bad habit?
procrostinate when it's time to study
58. Do you have any fetishes?
I always sleep in the car (my own car.)
59. How do you release your stress?
watching videos or writing or thinking about it
60. What activity completes your day?
doing what I need to do or doing something exciting and satisfying
61. Do you have a favorite saying?
“happiness is not something we find, its something we create.”
62. What motivates you in life?
ooh.. the question came out huh? uh.. NEXT
63. Where do you take inspiration from?
things I find interesting and makes me think and ask questions and gets me dreaming. Like paintings or movies or books and sometimes conversations from people and random acts of kindess I witness. etc. etc.
64. In the future, I want to ______ :
be happy with my nakama :)
65. What was the best thing that happened in your life?
Being able to meet all kinds of people from different backgrounds
66. Most embarrassing?
ooo... uh.. i cant think of one :D
67. What is the funniest story that you could share?
AHA! I got one :)
68. When was your first love?
uhh... hmm.. in kindergarden?
69. Describe him.
Very fun to be with and leader like.
70. What action from a guy makes your heart flutter?
when he notices things I dont and is able to point out a whole new and logical perspective from mine and introduce me to new things
71. What qualities do you look for in a man?
sincerety
72. What type do you hate?
insensitive
73. What does a guy do to turn you off?
when he hits people (esp. girls) seriously (its ok if its a joke kind of way)
74. The easiest way to your heart?
caring and super good friend
75. The meanest way to be broken up with?
saying there's someone else
76. What kind of people can’t you stand?
shallow, self centered, insincere, narrow minded, rote learning people
77. Favorite food.
interestingly things that start with Ch, chocolate, cheese, chicken... but I pretty much eat everything.
78. Something that you do not like eating.
the pink thing in tori-Q bentos and wasabi.
79. Something that you would recommend to someone visiting your country.
chicken rice.. I guess..
80. What would you cook for KAT-TUN?
Lechaflan!
81. What would you like to show them?
My art and friends :)
82. Any CM you would like them to do?
A CM for high heels would be super interesting
83. When are you at your happiest?
when I'm able to completely be myself and not having to think of a character to play
84. What is it your most afraid of?
blood and pain.
85. What makes you throw a tantrum?
when something completely unfair and annoying bothers me.
86. What new segment do you want CTKT to have?
hmm... one where people can know you guys more in (like those personality tests and dame dame arashi thing)
87. Anyone you want them as a guest?
Yankumi :)
88. Who is your fave KAT-TUN member?
Kame I guess.
89. Do you have anything you have in common with him?
not sure... Kame?
90. How did you end up liking him?
in Nobuta wo produce, I was able to relate to his character a lot.
91. If you could say ONE SENTENCE to him, what would it be?
cartoon KAT-TUN won't have any good ratings if conversations ended up like that you know.
92. More importantly, if you won a date with him, where do you want him to take you?
somewhere fun! where we can know each other more and break the ice easily, and be ourselves comfortably.
93. What is the best gift that you want to receive from him?
an inside joke kind of thing
94. Who do you want as your boyfriend?
Kame, since I've been talking about him already
95. Your best friend?
Everyone :)
96. Your husband?
Kame, he was my boyfriend right?
97. Your brother?
Jin, he looks fun to be with
98. Your pet?
Koki, he's really funny and playful
99. Your distant cousin?
Taguchi, so my cousin won't be so distant
100. What song would you want them to perform for you?
An acoustic version of Yorokobi no Uta
Justine Dominique
2. When were you born?
May 01 '94
3. Where were you born?
Philippines
4. Where are you currently residing?
Singapore :>
5. How many languages do you speak?
English... I don't think you can consider the other languages I know as "Speaking"
6. Do you have any siblings?
Yes, I'm the middle child
7. Would you show us your childhood pics?
suure
8. How did you spend your childhood?
playing :]
9. Any childhood dreams?
I really like going on adventures
10. Did it come true?
Half way there :D
11. Most memorable childhood moment.
my memory is really bad, but I'm sure that if you remind me of any memorable moments I'm sure I'll say something like "WOAH! AWESOME!!" and then remember it from then on.
12. Current occupation.
student
13. Past jobs.
my parents would pay me if i did chores and I used to hand make stationary paper and sell them for 10 cents to my family (I really love money)
14. Dream job.
Artist/someone that works in the entertainment business. Anything fun and full of admirable people will be awesome. Something that I can comit to and be motivated with easily is the best i guess.
15. How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
hopefully trying to work hard
16. Do you have any pets?
as much as I'd love a wolf, it's completely impossible for me to be capable of taking care of one
17. Please show us the contents of your bag.
Cell phone, iTouch, wallet and whatever I need for that day. like notebook or DS for when I expect it to be boring or presents or things I need to return etc. etc. Sometimes camera and snacks for just in case situtations :D
18. Something you must always have with you at all times.
My watch (or anything that tells time.. which in this case since my watch broke.. my cell phone)
19. What or who is on the wallpaper of your cell phone?
none.. I dont think my phone is capable of doing that...
20. How do you define your style?
simple, replies to the occasion.
21. Favorite fashion brand.
the popular ones (since I dont really know any others and too lazy to look around... but I am open minded and if the time calls for it I do bother to look at any shop)
22. What’s your favorite cartoon? (could be an anime, if you want).
LOADS!!!
23. Favorite TV show.
In Japan : Cartoon KAT-TUN and AnS and HnA and VSA
24. What were you good at in school?
I'm not specially good at anything.. I'm only average at everything
25. Who can you do an impersonation of?
I'm not sure... I haven't really tried to do one before..
26. Something that you would call yourself.
You... ?
27. What do you collect?
Juxtapoz magazines and souveneirs from special occassions (movie tickets, seashells, notes etc.)
28. What is the most expensive thing that you have ever bought?
I have no idea... concert tickets? clothes, notebooks, books, presents..? (everythings expensive for me)
29. What was the best present you have ever received?
I really like the whole "its the thought that counts" so I love any present I receive
30. Do you play any musical instruments?
I think the world will benefit more if I did not...
31. What is your first impression of KAT-TUN? Boring compared to Arashi
32. When or how did you first learn of them?
through arashi and gokusen
33. How long have you been a fan of them? a few months after I became a fan of arashi
34. What do you think makes them different from the other JE groups?
they're style of music and type costumes ( its more dark and rock. ) Though they still have the JE's dance sequences
35. Being a KAT-TUN fan, what is the craziest thing you’ve done?
wasting too much time watching videos of them.
36. To what lengths can you show or prove that you’re a fan?
I'm not really into proving I'm their biggest fan thing.. those kind of things are completely shallow
37. Do you have anything in common with them?
I dunno...I might :)
38. Is there something that you like for them to change?
their dancing.
39. Do you think they lack something?
intimacy/closeness within the group
40. Let’s say they can sing any song in any language, what would you have them sing for you? their own song yorokobi no uta :D or they can cover an arashi song. that's the best (for me... I dunno about arashi..)
41. What other JE groups do you like?
this question is way to obvious. NEXT
42. Other music aside from JE?
Fall Out Boy!! :D or Aqua timez if from Japan...
43. Is there anything you want to say to Johnny?
Please give me a job :>
44. What’s your favorite KT costume?
:| I have no clue... I dont really remember any
45. What can you beat KAT-TUN in?
Speaking English! And drawing/painting
46. What do you want to do for them?
Help them out with their problems (if any)
47. What do you want to teach them?
How to make the square balloon origami
48. What do you want them to teach you? (What do you want to learn from them?)
How to do a backflip!!!!!
49. Something that you want to do together.
Go wakeboarding or go to a traditional Japanese festival and wear yukatas and eat all kinds of festival food!!
50. What is your special skill?
hmm.. I wonder if thats really a special skill.
51. What do you think separates you from other people?
I really have no idea... everyone's so different that they're the same ne?
52. Is there something that you want to try the most?
Parachuting, or riding in a hot air balloon, or travelling the world on a boat, being a ninja, going on all kinds of Japanese variaty shows, meet Johnny! DO A BACKFLIP
53. What have you been currently working hard on?
The video montage.
54. Something that has caught your attention recently.
Wakeboarding and boats
55. What do you like doing best?
watching videos/movies etc.
56. What is your best characteristic?
patient and can see from other perspectives (sometimes)
57. What is your bad habit?
procrostinate when it's time to study
58. Do you have any fetishes?
I always sleep in the car (my own car.)
59. How do you release your stress?
watching videos or writing or thinking about it
60. What activity completes your day?
doing what I need to do or doing something exciting and satisfying
61. Do you have a favorite saying?
“happiness is not something we find, its something we create.”
62. What motivates you in life?
ooh.. the question came out huh? uh.. NEXT
63. Where do you take inspiration from?
things I find interesting and makes me think and ask questions and gets me dreaming. Like paintings or movies or books and sometimes conversations from people and random acts of kindess I witness. etc. etc.
64. In the future, I want to ______ :
be happy with my nakama :)
65. What was the best thing that happened in your life?
Being able to meet all kinds of people from different backgrounds
66. Most embarrassing?
ooo... uh.. i cant think of one :D
67. What is the funniest story that you could share?
AHA! I got one :)
68. When was your first love?
uhh... hmm.. in kindergarden?
69. Describe him.
Very fun to be with and leader like.
70. What action from a guy makes your heart flutter?
when he notices things I dont and is able to point out a whole new and logical perspective from mine and introduce me to new things
71. What qualities do you look for in a man?
sincerety
72. What type do you hate?
insensitive
73. What does a guy do to turn you off?
when he hits people (esp. girls) seriously (its ok if its a joke kind of way)
74. The easiest way to your heart?
caring and super good friend
75. The meanest way to be broken up with?
saying there's someone else
76. What kind of people can’t you stand?
shallow, self centered, insincere, narrow minded, rote learning people
77. Favorite food.
interestingly things that start with Ch, chocolate, cheese, chicken... but I pretty much eat everything.
78. Something that you do not like eating.
the pink thing in tori-Q bentos and wasabi.
79. Something that you would recommend to someone visiting your country.
chicken rice.. I guess..
80. What would you cook for KAT-TUN?
Lechaflan!
81. What would you like to show them?
My art and friends :)
82. Any CM you would like them to do?
A CM for high heels would be super interesting
83. When are you at your happiest?
when I'm able to completely be myself and not having to think of a character to play
84. What is it your most afraid of?
blood and pain.
85. What makes you throw a tantrum?
when something completely unfair and annoying bothers me.
86. What new segment do you want CTKT to have?
hmm... one where people can know you guys more in (like those personality tests and dame dame arashi thing)
87. Anyone you want them as a guest?
Yankumi :)
88. Who is your fave KAT-TUN member?
Kame I guess.
89. Do you have anything you have in common with him?
not sure... Kame?
90. How did you end up liking him?
in Nobuta wo produce, I was able to relate to his character a lot.
91. If you could say ONE SENTENCE to him, what would it be?
cartoon KAT-TUN won't have any good ratings if conversations ended up like that you know.
92. More importantly, if you won a date with him, where do you want him to take you?
somewhere fun! where we can know each other more and break the ice easily, and be ourselves comfortably.
93. What is the best gift that you want to receive from him?
an inside joke kind of thing
94. Who do you want as your boyfriend?
Kame, since I've been talking about him already
95. Your best friend?
Everyone :)
96. Your husband?
Kame, he was my boyfriend right?
97. Your brother?
Jin, he looks fun to be with
98. Your pet?
Koki, he's really funny and playful
99. Your distant cousin?
Taguchi, so my cousin won't be so distant
100. What song would you want them to perform for you?
An acoustic version of Yorokobi no Uta
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
128: damn its been a while huh?
quick update to fill in the major/meager eents of the past months (wow.)
exams are over! yay.
I am a pedophile.. yay. (k not a pedophile.. hopelessly desperate then)
I have become highly addicted to japan. yay (for japan)
I am the senator. yay
everythings starting with 'I'. yay.
I ate gren pringles (seaweed flavoured.) It's really weird... yay.
geez, so many yet so little has actually happened in these months.
either that or i dont remember..
innywho I just wanna spread my philosphical stuff to get it off my chest :)
I have decided that in (my) life I can live 3 ways. (well 2... or 4)
1) Is the robotic/mainstream way of life, where I go to college and get a job that I am acceptionally content with and settle down yada yada
2) there is the save the world life! where I can work for things like national geographic or discoery channel or something and see the world and be like that crocodile hunter guy that died by a stingray or I can be like a journalist and say stuff about poverty and global warming. its just to pretty much go around the world and really... experience stuff, and cange things (scientifically) I guess.. I just wanna explore the world you know.
3) the ninja way ;) I can like be a hermit or some philosophical traverller. sorta something like going to japan and finding a akido house where i can live in for free and dedicate my whole life to perfecting the art of akido under a master that i can respect and form a close bond with etc. etc those cliche type things. so this one is pretty much to dedicate myself humbly to something or secretively... something like number 1 but not number 1?
4) and semi lastly... the entertainment industry! i can be like a director or writer and create my own films and inspire people through my movies. or an actress in japanese drama series and participate in japanse variety shows xD (yes it is one of my dreams.. so what)
It sucks how by chosing one it sort of feels like its impossible to be able to turn back to be able to try the other ones. and there are so many things to worry about and plan for and take care of in order to get to at least one of them. in a way i see it, 4 might be the more suitable option to chose if i were to aim for all 4, if i make it big as a director or actress then on sight filming can take me to places ive never seen before and by perfecting my skills its sorta like number 3, its just number 1 thats hard to handle...
its like theres no normal ness in the entertainment industry (unless im a directory then thats good enoug :D I earn $$ and i dont have to go shopping wearing big sunglasses and a hat pulled down all the way past my eyebrows)
i hate how theres so many perspectives and ways to live that its so hard to dedicate myself to one. and when i dedicate myself to one (currently that one being a highschool happy student etc etc) it feels unfulfilling... like.. in a way I cant ever fully dedicate myself to it.
I lost the feeling...
hold on... nope i cant get it back..
now i have no idea what to say cause i lost my point..
but i guess my point is... its easy to be happy in life. but its hard to be ______. its hard to find it.
ya know?
and then I also have another issue.
why do we idolise celeberites so much?
when you see how glamorous they are on tv and then you go to their concerts your overwhelmed!
and then these rumours and scandals come out and die hard fans deffend the celebs.
i find it all really weird.
cause then... arent these people too?
what makes us idolise them so much when we dont even know them know them?
we think we know them, when you hear these rumors we deffend them like we have every right to (ok we do... but.. the celebs dont know you, they'll only say "i wanna thank my fans" and you feel special cause your thanked.. along with a gazillion others)
I dunnoo.
I'm not bad mouthing or anything, i just feel like... this bond we have, the connection we create due to the media with the people or characters (yes like edward cullen, where so many girlfriends broke up with their boyfriends cause theyre not like edward cullen. wtf?) the connection we create with these people, what is it?
the bond we have with our family is through blood etc. we're family
bonds with friends? we go through thick and thin etc. nakama ;D
these two are personal basis
then what bout other bonds?
bonds with strangers, or something.. im too lazy to explain bonds right now cause i dont have that issue on my chest (yet) but whats really bugging me is
how the connection of fan and celeb is created.
i can understand those that inspire others. but sometimes it just sounds like an excuse. as an art student i can totally relate and understand to things like, response to issues in society and relating and responding and admiring others art etc etc. but sometimes, most of the times its not like that! people wanna know who theyre dating and people create fan fiction and people create things like, i dunno i cant explain!!
its just weird.
why are people so...
addicted?
and how come when you're in this world where you're admiring something (from celebs, characters, anything you hard corely admire)
how come that world, when comparing it to reality, reality really feels so black and white. like watching paint dry.
when actually, you (should) realise, its not. cause you can make so much more out of reality when your focusing on it instead of admiring and dazing out into that world of "your not even in personal terms with the character, they dont know you exist etc etc" world, that reality can seem like its so much much better.
and when i realise this (and snap out and completely forget about that world) I am happy :) :)
and it makes me want to have a camera and video tape it and show it to the rest of the world so that other people can go into the world of admiring US :D
somehow by having a world, reality feels much lonlier.
that world is an escape. to a place where you can dream (i guess... for me I imagine scenarios of what would happen if i were friends with them) and then reality comes into play and it gets confusing and hard to manage sometimes and it gets hard to accept. (somehow.... hmm.. not really explaining myself properly here)
innywho...
thats all i can say for now.. since i cant really do any better.
xxx
batman forgot how to end these posts
exams are over! yay.
I am a pedophile.. yay. (k not a pedophile.. hopelessly desperate then)
I have become highly addicted to japan. yay (for japan)
I am the senator. yay
everythings starting with 'I'. yay.
I ate gren pringles (seaweed flavoured.) It's really weird... yay.
geez, so many yet so little has actually happened in these months.
either that or i dont remember..
innywho I just wanna spread my philosphical stuff to get it off my chest :)
I have decided that in (my) life I can live 3 ways. (well 2... or 4)
1) Is the robotic/mainstream way of life, where I go to college and get a job that I am acceptionally content with and settle down yada yada
2) there is the save the world life! where I can work for things like national geographic or discoery channel or something and see the world and be like that crocodile hunter guy that died by a stingray or I can be like a journalist and say stuff about poverty and global warming. its just to pretty much go around the world and really... experience stuff, and cange things (scientifically) I guess.. I just wanna explore the world you know.
3) the ninja way ;) I can like be a hermit or some philosophical traverller. sorta something like going to japan and finding a akido house where i can live in for free and dedicate my whole life to perfecting the art of akido under a master that i can respect and form a close bond with etc. etc those cliche type things. so this one is pretty much to dedicate myself humbly to something or secretively... something like number 1 but not number 1?
4) and semi lastly... the entertainment industry! i can be like a director or writer and create my own films and inspire people through my movies. or an actress in japanese drama series and participate in japanse variety shows xD (yes it is one of my dreams.. so what)
It sucks how by chosing one it sort of feels like its impossible to be able to turn back to be able to try the other ones. and there are so many things to worry about and plan for and take care of in order to get to at least one of them. in a way i see it, 4 might be the more suitable option to chose if i were to aim for all 4, if i make it big as a director or actress then on sight filming can take me to places ive never seen before and by perfecting my skills its sorta like number 3, its just number 1 thats hard to handle...
its like theres no normal ness in the entertainment industry (unless im a directory then thats good enoug :D I earn $$ and i dont have to go shopping wearing big sunglasses and a hat pulled down all the way past my eyebrows)
i hate how theres so many perspectives and ways to live that its so hard to dedicate myself to one. and when i dedicate myself to one (currently that one being a highschool happy student etc etc) it feels unfulfilling... like.. in a way I cant ever fully dedicate myself to it.
I lost the feeling...
hold on... nope i cant get it back..
now i have no idea what to say cause i lost my point..
but i guess my point is... its easy to be happy in life. but its hard to be ______. its hard to find it.
ya know?
and then I also have another issue.
why do we idolise celeberites so much?
when you see how glamorous they are on tv and then you go to their concerts your overwhelmed!
and then these rumours and scandals come out and die hard fans deffend the celebs.
i find it all really weird.
cause then... arent these people too?
what makes us idolise them so much when we dont even know them know them?
we think we know them, when you hear these rumors we deffend them like we have every right to (ok we do... but.. the celebs dont know you, they'll only say "i wanna thank my fans" and you feel special cause your thanked.. along with a gazillion others)
I dunnoo.
I'm not bad mouthing or anything, i just feel like... this bond we have, the connection we create due to the media with the people or characters (yes like edward cullen, where so many girlfriends broke up with their boyfriends cause theyre not like edward cullen. wtf?) the connection we create with these people, what is it?
the bond we have with our family is through blood etc. we're family
bonds with friends? we go through thick and thin etc. nakama ;D
these two are personal basis
then what bout other bonds?
bonds with strangers, or something.. im too lazy to explain bonds right now cause i dont have that issue on my chest (yet) but whats really bugging me is
how the connection of fan and celeb is created.
i can understand those that inspire others. but sometimes it just sounds like an excuse. as an art student i can totally relate and understand to things like, response to issues in society and relating and responding and admiring others art etc etc. but sometimes, most of the times its not like that! people wanna know who theyre dating and people create fan fiction and people create things like, i dunno i cant explain!!
its just weird.
why are people so...
addicted?
and how come when you're in this world where you're admiring something (from celebs, characters, anything you hard corely admire)
how come that world, when comparing it to reality, reality really feels so black and white. like watching paint dry.
when actually, you (should) realise, its not. cause you can make so much more out of reality when your focusing on it instead of admiring and dazing out into that world of "your not even in personal terms with the character, they dont know you exist etc etc" world, that reality can seem like its so much much better.
and when i realise this (and snap out and completely forget about that world) I am happy :) :)
and it makes me want to have a camera and video tape it and show it to the rest of the world so that other people can go into the world of admiring US :D
somehow by having a world, reality feels much lonlier.
that world is an escape. to a place where you can dream (i guess... for me I imagine scenarios of what would happen if i were friends with them) and then reality comes into play and it gets confusing and hard to manage sometimes and it gets hard to accept. (somehow.... hmm.. not really explaining myself properly here)
innywho...
thats all i can say for now.. since i cant really do any better.
xxx
batman forgot how to end these posts
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